In some articles in this site (and others), some writers insisted on using the term “The Custody of men over women”. The apparent motive behind this might be the protection of women. However, most of the restrictions and hardships on women and their progress in the community are caused by the vibrant presence of this term in the mentality of most Muslims. This is despite the fact that God never mentioned or used this terminology at all in Quran, which is what Muslims believe to be word of God.

Many writers mix between Guardianship and Custody. Guardianship is mentioned in Quran, but custody or mandate (of men over women) is never mentioned at all in Quran. The requirement from men towards women (as guardianship) is to care about and for and protect women, not to assign themselves as judges over them. There is a huge difference between the two things.
Women are (on average) physically weaker than men, and they are less brave in demanding their rights. Therefore, it is well-spread in societies that the rights of women is usually neglected or not well preserved. Therefore, God ordered men to make efforts in helping and supporting women whenever they needed that support or help. This should not be taken as imposing man’s view on how a woman should run her life. What is happening these days is that men are taking control over women’s life in direct violation to what God told them to do.
4. There is no such a thing as “Custody of Men over Women”
The commandments that God ordered men to carry out indicate that man should not interfere in the personal life or women (unless they cause harm to others). Therefore, men should not assign themselves as judges over what women do. Look in these verses how the words insist on framing the freedom of women in running their lives as they see suitable, not as man wants:
- (For those who die and leave wives behind, they (the wives) should wait (before making another marriage) for 4 months and ten (days), and when they reached the end of this waiting you (men) should HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH WHATEVER THEY (women) DO WITH THEMSELVES (DECENTLY), and God is the best to know what you (all) are doing) ((2:234)
- (And those of you who die and leave wives behind, (make) a bequest in favor of their wives of maintenance for a year without turning (them) out, then if they (wives) themselves go away then you (men) should HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH WHATEVER THEY (women) DO WITH THEMSELVES (decently), God is wise and mighty)(2:240)
- (And if you divorce women and they reached their schedule then either maintain a relation in decency or leave them at liberty. DO NOT RESTRAINT OR HOLD THEM (women) TO CAUSE HARDSHIP IN THEIR LIVES, AND WHOEVER DOES THIS WILL CAUSE INJUSTICE TO HIMSELF..) (2:231).
- (And if you divorce women and they reached their schedule then DO NOT PLACE DIFFICULTIES IN THE WAY OF THEIR NEW MARRIAGES TO THEIR NEW HUSBANDS IF THEY BOTH AGREE ON THAT DECENTLY. This advised to whoever believes in God and the Day of Judgment.) (2:232)
- (Lodge them (women) where you (men) dwell (i.e. live equally together) AND DO NOT HARASS THEM TO CAUSE HARDSHIP IN THEIR LIVES. And if they were pregnant you (men) should spend for them until they deliver, and if they breastfed the children then give them their due payment. AND CONSULT EACHOTHER WITH KINDNESS, but if you found hardship (in breastfeeding) then another woman shall breastfeed (the children)) (65:12).
These verses and many others indicate that woman has her own personal liberty (as long as she doesn’t hurt anyone) exactly as man has his own liberty (as long as he doesn’t hurt anyone). The reason behind the many “DO NOT”s in those verses for men is that men of the that society got used to pushing their noses in the life of women in pretext that she is weak and she cannot protect herself.
This mentality of interfering in personal life of women, continued until these days with depicting women always second to men. However, this mentality was reshaped and termed with religious terms, such as “Custody of men over women”, as if the woman is a very weak creature that cannot pursue its path in this life.
Regardless to all noble justification put by those who support this mentality, the consequences of this mentality in the Islamic world is totally devastating. Take for example in Saudia Arabia, where women cannot walk freely alone in markets, and how they treat her like a disabled creature who cannot properly make do in the community. Look how, there, a brother imprisons his sister for long periods of times using the statement that he is the “mandatory guardian” over her, and that he does that for her goodness.
All these stinky secretions are direct result of feeding the minds of men with those poisonous and vile thoughts that they have the hand of authority over their women and sisters, and that they can control their lives as they wish.