[The Onion is a spoof, a humorous parody, of the news. Of course U.S. government officials are in fact protective of their employment, and not likely to make careless public criticisms of Israel--and there's the humor of it, as Shakespeare might say.--ecd
News in Brief
Government Official Who Makes a Perfectly Valid, Well-Reasoned Point Against Israel Forced to Resign
The Onion, May 20, 2011
WASHINGTON--State Department diplomat Nelson Mistrand, who appeared on CNN last week and offered an informed, thoughtful analysis implying that Israel could perhaps exercise more restraint toward Palestinian moderates in disputed territiories was asked to resign Tuesday. "The United States deeply regrets any harm Mr Mistrand's remarks may have caused our democratic partner in the Middle East," Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said in an unequivocal condemnation of the veteran foreign-service officer's perfectly reasonable statements: "US policy toward Israel continues to be one of unconditional support and fawning sycophancy."
Mistrand, 63, will reportedly appear at an AIPAC conference to offer a full apology as soon as his trial concludes and his divorce is finalized. (oni)